The Single Rev's Guide to Life
Collar and Pearls
by Kedron Jarvis
I’m in a leadership class. You might know the type…a group of leaders come together to learn more about leadership in a small group setting. Speakers come in; we read a book on leadership; we complete a project as a group. They have them all over the country in different forms. A few weeks ago my class, all young professionals ages 22-40, was on retreat. We did the requisite Myers-Briggs and a ropes course, and thankfully ended with happy hour. And there was an hour of class time dedicated to “Professional Etiquette.” Now lets just start out with the fact that we are in Montgomery, Alabama…etiquette is almost a subject in elementary school. This is a place where the first rule I learned was “always save face.” No matter what stupid or ridiculous thing someone is doing, make sure you don’t point out that stupid or ridiculous thing and hopefully they can save face. This is also a place where I finally decided 2 years ago that even though I was not married, I was going to pick my silver pattern anyway. Dang it. So there.
Divine Details
Are We Counselors?
Photo by dm74
Recently, we had a continuing education event at our church on responding to the economic crisis. As we all know, even though the markets are up, and things seem to be stable, the unemployment rate is still high. While the general population is moving on with their shopping, a huge percentage of our country is still unemployed, trying to get a job in an incredibly tight market. So the needs in our congregations, as well as the level of anxiety and depression, can be quite high.
So we gathered, with two counselors, to find out how to best support people who are suffering during this time–our friends, our loved ones, our members, and often ourselves. One pastor began his question, “When we counsel people who have lost their jobs….”
And the counselor stopped him and said, “You don’t counsel people who have lost their jobs. You are not counselors, you’re not therapists. You can free yourself from that notion.”
The Jesus Review
Contracts, Covenants and Conan
Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his house, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh and I will make you swear by the Lord…”
Genesis 24:2-3a
My Old Testament professor was the first person who challenged me to approach scripture in a sensory way, to imagine my way into the biblical narrative. I guess that’s why the promise between Abraham and his most trusted servant has, for better or worse, permanently set up camp in my consciousness.
Moms in Ministry
On Quitting the Children’s Choir
I held a meeting with my congregation’s worship and music director the other day to tell her that my eldest child wouldn’t be attending children’s choir for the near future. I fretted quite a bit about this conversation. Not because I don’t like the choir program. Not because I don’t like the choir director. We had to quit a church activity due to too much church. I worried tremendously that I would hurt the feelings of my treasured colleague; the last thing I want is a member of my staff to feel that I am not supporting her ministry.
Christ & Creativity
Creativity and Care: Original Cards
When I was in Junior High, I decorated my room in
rainbows. Two six-foot tall
rainbow shades hanging on my wall.
A rainbow lantern over my light. Rainbow posters.
My decorating sensibilities are more refined these days, but
I still love color. On a sunny
fall day, if you look in the Kansas sky about half-way between the horizon and
the top of the dome, you will see the most beautiful shade of blue there
is. If you go for a walk in the
summer...
The Ones We Love
Losing a Neighbor
I left work early on that Friday so that I could run home for a few minutes before an evening meeting. So when I turned on to my street and saw seven police cars and a fire truck directly in front of my house, I realized that perhaps those leisurely few minutes would be different than expected. My neighbors were all standing on the street staring down the block towards my house. As I leapt out of the car, I thought, “Is it burned down? Did I leave the curling iron on? But I don’t see anything wrong with the house.” It took only a few minutes to learn that it wasn’t my house the cops were watching. It was my neighbor to the right. He had shot himself that afternoon. My neighbor was dead.
Sunday Morning & Beyond
First Communion
A few Sundays ago, one of our three year olds (I’ll call her Claire) was sitting in the second row of pews with her parents. Next to her was one of our church elders, Harrison, who is also a pillar of the congregation in the best sense of the word and one of the few people I have ever met who is completely at home, able, and amazing with kids from age 0 to 25.
When this family went up for communion, Claire didn’t take any. But, after they got back to the pew, they saw a dad and his three year old go up and the three year old took communion. (OK, full disclosure, that was my kid…who is not about to give up any chance to get her hands on extra grape juice.) When Claire saw Zora taking communion she was a little peeved that she hadn’t gotten to. Her parents sort of wondered about this, and Harrison explained that current PC(USA) policy is that it’s up to parents to decide when kids may take communion, and if it was OK with them, Claire could.
Called & Sent
Giving Directions
I was at the grocery store the other day. My grocery store. The one where, in theory, I go once a week with menu planned and shopping list in hand. The one where, in actuality, I go once a day to pick up milk or bread or frozen pizzas.
As I was walking down the juice aisle with definite purpose, my cart expertly stacked, I noticed a bewildered looking middle-aged man. His cart had only a few items in it, thrown in haphazardly. He looked at the paper in his hand and then at the shelves to his left. Then at the paper, then at the shelves to his right.
Just as he was getting ready to look at his paper again, he saw me. His look of confusion turned into a smile of utter relief. “You can help me,” he said. “Where can I find the almonds?”
