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Love the One You’re With?

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I can remember being told by some folks while I was in seminary that my best (and perhaps my only) chances of finding someone to love and marry would be before I was ordained. “Good luck finding a man who will be okay with the idea of being hooked up with a pastor,” they said. […]

Sleeping to One Side

Empty Beds

I sleep alone in my Queen-sized bed and I’ve slept alone in this bed for almost two years.  You’d think that after two years, I’d sleep sprawled in the middle of this mattress, limbs stretching as far as they could reach.   But two years after I last had company on this mattress, I still sleep […]

Love at First Sight

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I remember the day in 2010 that I first saw his picture online.  That night, my friend Sarah and I were having dinner at Los Arcos, and over our fajitas I passed her my smartphone so she could share in my delight.  “Oh, he’s so cute!” she gushed.  “I love his eyes.” “I know,” I […]

What Not to Say to a Single Clergywoman

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There might have been a TV show called, “Kids Say the Darnedest Things,” but it’s actually adults who say the darnedest things. I especially began to notice this after becoming a pastor. I don’t know statistics of married versus single clergy or male versus female, but I have certainly felt like I was in the […]

Failing the Bechdel Test

Freshman Week Placement Tests Duke University

We were driving to my parents’ house when my sister, Lindsey, mentioned the Bechdel Test.  I had never heard of it, so I had to ask what it was. “It’s like a baseline test for women in movies.  You ask three questions: Does the movie have at least two named, female characters; do two female […]

Alone in a Tent

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It all started with a beat up orange tent I bought for $15 at a garage sale near my apartment.  Buying it was a whim; I saw it set up in the yard and decided to stop and look at it.  Camping wasn’t new to me.  I grew up camping with my family—two parents, three […]

Single Mixers and Stereotypes

Glass of wine

I can’t bring myself to join an online dating service. It feels like shopping to me. But I also can’t quite resign myself to being single in the suburbs for all eternity. So, with a 5pm glass of wine to fortify us, a friend and I ventured to a singles event. We’d found it on […]

The Real Pastors of the Midwest

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I want my own reality show.  I’ve not made this a secret anywhere…I think my life would make a great reality show.  Maybe I’ve watched one too many episodes of the Real Housewives of Anywhere, but I know exactly the roles that need to be filled.  The matriarch, the hot mess, the young one, the […]

Single and Dangerous

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“Overly educated, though not overly snobby. Interested in Friday night dates and Saturday adventures to quirky festivals while sharing a funnel cake. Foodie (but not a cook) with opinions on Bluegrass, bourbon, and Big 10 basketball. Easily won over by the perfect Manhattan or a glass of Chandon during cocktail hour, but not a homebody. … Side-show […]

For Posterity’s Sake

Dear Diary

A few weeks ago, I found my old diary.  I had not opened it since sometime during my high school years, and reading through each entry was like going back in time.  Secrets were shared.  Relationships were started, lost, and then started again.  Dreams and ambitions were recorded for posterity’s sake.  As I read through […]