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The Young Clergywoman’s Top Ten Practical Considerations for Interfaith Dialogue


Divine Details

One of the greatest challenge facing Christians today is the call to understand our Christian identity amidst growing religious diversity in our communities, our nation and in the world. More and more Christians are finding themselves in relationships with people from other faiths – in school, work, or the neighborhood. As pastors, many of us understand our ministries to be intimately connected with people from other religious traditions, and have committed in interfaith dialogue and advocacy to address our questions, and those in our congregations.

If you are hoping to engage in interfaith work in your own community, here are ten practical suggestions that may help you avoid common pitfalls – things that I have learned from almost ten years of work in interfaith education, dialogue and advocacy, and vetted by some friends and colleagues from different faith traditions:

1. If you are hoping to have an interfaith activity with participants from other traditions, Tuesdays and Thursdays are your money days. Fridays are bad for Muslims, Saturdays are bad for Jews, Sundays and Wednesdays tend to be bad for Christians. Don’t assume that just because a Saturday or Sunday afternoon works best for your congregation that it will work for others.

2. Having appropriate food at an interfaith program is crucial, and is often an important mark of how well you have prepared for the event. When possible, ask your attendees about their specific dietary needs, and when hosting Jews and Muslims, specifically, order food from a deli or restaurant that provides food options prepared following kosher and/or halal guidelines. If you happen to be working with members from the Jain tradition, find out what they can eat. Devout Jains tend to have the strictest dietary restrictions; if the Jains can eat it, chances are people from other traditions can as well. When in doubt, stick with strict vegan and kosher options, and always avoid alcohol. While this may add to your time and costs, your efforts will be appreciated.

3. Never use an example from one religious tradition to explain a phenomenon in another religious tradition. I got in huge trouble once for simply publishing a bio given to me by a Zoroastrian guest lecturer. In his bio, he likened the situation of Zoroastrians in Iran to the Jews in 1930s Germany – ghettos, ID cards, etc. The Jewish community was rightly upset by this, and as the event coordinator I was caught in the whirlwind. Be sure to check that every bit of information you publish or publicize comes from the religious tradition itself, and doesn’t speak on behalf of another.

4. Especially when working with Jews and Muslims, don’t necessarily assume that we all consider ourselves to be monotheistic, or worshiping one God. While as Christians we certainly hold to this belief, the reality of the Trinity can be very difficult for other traditions to understand – and oftentimes, difficult for Christians as well. I have often been in situations where Jews or Muslims challenged the basic notion that we are all three monotheistic traditions. When you are engaging in an interfaith discussion that might involve the Trinity, be sure to be as clear and concise as possible, realizing that for everyone involved, this mystery is difficult to comprehend.

5. If you are hoping to start some interfaith efforts in your community, meet the religious leaders first. Invite them to lunch. Attend events at their community when appropriate. Then, early on in your planning, ask for participation from members of other religious traditions. In my experience, it is often Christian congregations and organizations that want to organize discussions, film screenings, or events that address interfaith concerns. Merely inviting people from other traditions is not enough. When planning events, don’t brainstorm on your own and then ask other religious communities to come participate in what you want to do. Rather, present a concern or issue, and work together with their community leaders to figure out an appropriate program or event.

6. Remember that modesty is always appropriate. When you attending events at other communities, avoid wearing pants; long skirts tend to make folks more comfortable. Also, a pashmina (real or fake) works very well as a headscarf when one is needed. When going out with an interfaith group (for example, to a cultural performance) remember that people aren’t always modestly dressed by religious standards, and some people cannot watch these types of performances.

7. Although we may want to warmly welcome someone with a handshake or pat on the back, remember that many religious individuals opt not to touch a member of the opposite sex unless they are close family or a spouse. Those people are often used to having to explain themselves in secular settings and often will shake hands out of politeness, but having a program in which people hold hands, hug one another, etc. can make those people very uncomfortable. When greeting someone of the opposite sex, don’t put out your hand unless the other person does so first, or ask politely if you can shake the other person’s hand.

8. Don’t be discouraged if your events are poorly attended, or if you feel like you are doing the same thing over and over again. Once in New York City, I was facilitating yet another panel discussion with a rabbi, imam and priest, discussing some topic of nominal interest to about fifteen people. Yet afterwards, I had a woman come up to me – one who seemed very worldly, intelligent and New Yorkish – and say that this was the first time she had ever seen three faith leaders sit down together and talk. No matter how many times we have seen it, facilitated discussions and put together panels, there is always someone who is being touched for the first time, and it is always important that we do it.

9. Don’t be nervous that someone from your congregation will ask some stupid, insensitive, even bigoted question about another religion. Chances are, they will, and you will find yourself cringing in your chair and vowing never to do this again. But in my experience, religious leaders from other traditions are often happy to clear up falsehoods about their faith. Although the question or statement might be ridiculous, it is better for a congregant to ask about it in the presence of a religious leader who can straighten them out, rather than to their friends who certainly don’t know the answer. Most problems in interfaith dialogue occur in the planning – not working with the right people, not providing equal time to each faith tradition, making assumptions that reflect our version of the situation rather than others – and not at the event itself.

10. Interfaith worship can be a beautiful way to celebrate together, but it is also intensely complicated and, in my experience, rarely done well. Our rituals and worship practices are very complex and derive from centuries of cultural tradition which we may not understand. Even our best efforts can be insensitive – taking the time to provide a bulletin with detailed events of the service may seem helpful to us, but not necessarily helpful to people who worship without a bulletin. In general, take time to think very thoroughly about what kind of worship service you want to have. In my opinion, it is not enough to just have prayers led from different traditions and sing a Christian hymn that doesn’t mention Christ. Try to involve music or chanting from other traditions, be open to a great deal of experimentation, and only engage in worship with faith communities in which you have built a great deal of trust.

And remember…

11. Once you’ve had an event, do another one. Interfaith dialogue can only happen when we have established trust, and that can only happen when we meet together over and over again. It will probably take years of steady work to foster the kind of relationships that will enable you to address the real complexities of interfaith dialogue, but we can only talk about the big questions when we all participants have assurance that they will be heard, respected and understood.


4 replies
  1. Heidi says:

    I live in the Pacific Northwest, the part of North America that has the least number of people involved in ANY kind of religious community. We also have huge numbers of people who identify themselves as “spiritual, not religious”. I find myself increasingly in dialogue with such folk, and also find myself needing to incorporate their perspectives in weddings, etc. A First Nations elder has taught that all inter-religious dialogue should begin with respect. This is in an on-going struggle for me – to find a way to respect spiritualities that are so individual, so separated from history and tradition, and sometimes pretty incoherent and inconsistent (OK, I know I’m judging here.) I wonder if others have the same issue?

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  2. Jennifer C says:

    Wow, Stacy, I wish I’d had this checklist 2 months ago! My congregation hosted what we called a Christian Shabbat with 2 local rabbis during Lent. It went blessedly smoothly and my congregation loved it. And the rabbis were very gracious and didn’t mention the faux pas we probably made–but this would have been helpful to start with. Thanks!

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