Familiar Echoes: My father’s footsteps
Post Author: Abigail Zang Hoffman
Me and my dad
And so, the topic of “what I do for a living” always prompts more investigation. The questions begin, as my conversation partner attempts to unravel the mystery. The first stop: “Oh, you’re a pastor! Is your husband in the ministry, too?” It would somehow be understandable if this were a family affair – a husband and wife pastor team. Putting aside my indignation that I have never overheard a male colleague being asked whether his wife is also in ministry, I add to the puzzle when I answer that my husband works in construction management.
I can see the wheels turning in his or her mind. How does a nice, well-educated, and seemingly normal woman in her mid-twenties decide to be…a pastor? If the questioner is at all savvy about the language of the church, the next question is usually, “When did you first hear the call to ministry?”
Usually, I give the person a break at this point. “Well, I grew up in the Lutheran church, and my dad’s a pastor.” Aha! You can almost see the relief on his or her face. There is a reason for this strange anomaly! She must have been indoctrinated from a young age. It’s the only explanation for her choice of such a profession.
Yes, I do credit my parents, especially my dad, with helping me hear a call to my vocation because they took their commitments at my baptism seriously. They placed in my hands the Holy Scriptures. They taught me the creeds and the ten commandments. They brought me to services of God’s house week after week. They encouraged me in a life of faith and service.
But it was never assumed that a life of faith and service is limited to the church walls. I remember many conversations throughout my high school and college years about what I would be when I grew up. (Alas, that question is still unanswered!) Those conversations were always about what I enjoyed doing and what I found interesting and what gifts and skills I could share for the good of the world, because that’s what my parents modeled for me. Not because Dad is a pastor, but because my dad loved his job, I heard his joy and enthusiasm shine through when he talked about his work. I experienced his genuine passion for what he does. My dad taught me that God often calls us through our gifts and passions and interests. In his case, that formed a call to pastoral ministry.
Maybe it’s my namesake. Abigail means “my Father’s joy.” Maybe it’s the fact that for the first four years of my life, I shared a room with my dad’s study. Maybe all those theological thoughts and the many late nights of sermon writing infiltrated my mind through osmosis. Maybe it’s just because I am my father’s daughter, and he passed along many of his personality traits to me. Whatever the reason, I also heard God’s voice through my love for God’s people, my passion for learning and thinking about the big questions of life, and my joy for knowing a little about a lot of things. Combined with a firm grounding in my baptismal identity, God’s voice in my life echoed a call to pastoral ministry, too.
It is a joy to share a vocation with my Dad. I love having someone to call late on Saturday night to lament sermon-writing woes. I love having such unlimited access to his thirty-four years of experience in ministry. I love that he has been willing to supply preach for me occasionally. I love that he raised me to believe that I could be anything and do anything. Most of all, I love that his vision for God’s call in my life was big enough to include anything in the whole wide world, even though answering it led me down a familiar path.
Abigail Zang Hoffman is a Lutheran pastor serving in Elmira, New York. She lives with her husband, Kevin, and their dog, Bailey. Abby has been known to travel incognito as a college student wearing jeans and a sweatshirt from her alma mater so no one will wonder about her profession.
Image by: Abigail Zang Hoffman
Used with permission
In the Spring of 2006 God sent a message. It is about the meaning of First is Last and Last is First. The message is this:
In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die death.
What does this mean? It means that Birth is Last and Birth is First. God also gives an example so that you can understand this better. Example: Mike Douglas died on his birthday, August 11. (note: Mike Douglas and Michael Douglas are two different people.)
In 2007 God had this to say:
We each die in succession, then we are born on the same day.
I too can relate. Even though I am not ordained, as a soon-to-be seminary student, I get the questions all the time, especially after having a career as a journalist for many years. And like you Abigail, I’ve been somewhat hesitant to say that I will be attending seminary, knowing that some people will give me that “I don’t understand” or “Why would you do that?” kind of look. I even had one guy ask me, “So, how do you expect to get married?”
But nevertheless, I am elated that God has issued me a call to do something greater than what I have been able to accomplish and do it with skills he’s helped nurture in my first career.
I hear ya. Nobody is a pastor in my family, but my husband gets that question all the time. I’m 25 years old – I’ll be ordained tomorrow morning!! – and I get all sorts of questions about why and what I’m doing…
Thank you, purechristinithink, for the “muggle-born” phrase; can I use it too?
Because I’m also the first in my family to do this, but like Abigail, my parents still put the Bible in my hands, taught the creeds, brought me to worship and encouraged a life of faith, a faith that is both reflective and reflexive.
For them, that meant something different than ordained ministry, so that I was raised with a deep respect for the ministry that laypeople do, both in the church and in the world we send them out into week by week.
But I can understand what a gift it would be to share this calling with a parent. Bless you both!
Great picture. When people ask me if my dad was a pastor I’ve been known to respond, “No, I’m muggle-born.” I’ve also referred to a colleague who comes from a long line of Pastors as “coming from one of the old wizarding families.”
Absolutely wonderful. I, too, am a PK who is now a P with two K’s of her own. My favorite is when Dad and I call each other early Sunday morning as we are each unlocking our churches. IT is such a blessing to have parents who completely get what you do and why you do it. Thank you for this great article.
Oh, how I can identify with you, Abigail! By now I’m in my late 30’s, with 12 years of experience behind me. I, too, have people say things like, “(stutter first) Um, you mean, you’re husband is a pastor?” My journey of growth as I have embraced my pastoral identity has been rich and wonderful, but definitely touched with that disbelief and confusion at a young woman choosing the ministry, while her husband mangages a bookstore and takes care of the children while she is working. It can be frustrating, but I also love helping people move out of their small boxes – we all need to know that God is full of surprises and uses the unlikely for God’s purposes. Thank you for your words!
How wonderful!
I can totally follow the experience about explaining people “what I do” (can I really explain all aspects of what I do?) and seeing their puzzled face.
Although I have no pastoral “family affair” which I most of the time appreciate for not being compared with family members in ministry.
But I totally believe that it must be a wonderful father-daughter-relationship to share also faith and ministry issues.
Great picture. Your dad and you seem to be so proud for each other.