A Theology of Play

Post Author: Ali Van Kuiken

The spirit of play is very important in my ministry as a pastoral caregiver at a psychiatric hospital. That spirit comes out in various ways. Sometimes I joke with my patients. Sometimes I’m irreverent. Sometimes I tease. In addition to demonstrating playfulness, my theology also involves a type of openness and creativity as I listen to a person’s story. Above all, my theology of play involves faith in possibility.

The possibility of change and seeing hope in a situation that appears impossible to shift is a big part of why irreverence is an approach taught in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). In DBT irreverence often appears as a type of snark in working with patients. When someone I’m working with, who I know well, tells me they did something against the unit rules or that they acted in a way they knew was not healthy for them I might ask, “How’d that work out for you?” This is my way of giving them an opportunity to own for themselves the consequences of their willfulness. 

I also use humor at times with myself as the butt of the joke. When leading a group about how to manage difficult life experiences and learn coping skills, I realized that the materials I had brought to the group for the art activity did not look the best. The activity was making torn paper collage and I had brought construction paper already torn from previous groups. I told my group members, “Look guys, something to know about me is that I try to re-use things as much as possible. It’s an Ali thing. I don’t mean any disrespect by bringing you poor quality paper.” They laughed and said not to worry. I have the freedom, with my theology of play, to own my tendencies and qualities and to draw attention to them without making others feel uncomfortable.

A theology of play also invites a spirit of openness and creativity. While at a Sunday School class with my daughter, after the Godly Play lesson, one of the other children wanted to do math equations on the white board. The teacher tried to engage him with play related to the lesson but otherwise let him make his own choices. When he wanted to teach me math I thought, “Why can’t this be related to the lesson?” I asked him to do math related to the story of the Good Samaritan. It led to lengthy equations beginning with the traveler on the road between Jericho and Jerusalem, adding two robbers, subtracting two robbers, adding a priest, subtracting a priest, and so on. 

My work in psychiatric hospitals has cultivated in me an openness to possibility. When a patient describes a delusion to me, I don’t need to contradict them, nor do I need to know all the details. But I can be open to learning how their belief in this delusion is affecting them. I can be creative in trying to understand the impact of their belief on their spirituality. This approach applies to people with beliefs we may not agree with, even if those beliefs are not diagnosable delusions. 

The use of humor can also allow us as pastors and caregivers to have an outlet for tension, frustration, and anxiety. Sometimes as we live out our vocations, we take things personally, which can get in the way of our creativity and our ability to do our ministry. It can also just make us feel rotten. So finding a way to use humor and play to distance ourselves from what otherwise might be offensive can allow us to build connections and find ways to minister in difficult situations.

Undergirding these elements of my theology of play is Jesus’ own ministry. From the commands to turn the other cheek, walk a second mile, and give up one’s tunic when used to writing in the dirt, Jesus regularly finds ways to defuse otherwise serious topics with play. He even has his disciples go fishing and pull out a coin from the fish’s mouth to pay taxes! In Jesus we see many examples of how to do ministry, including the use of humor (not to mention sarcasm and irony, which also have their place). 

A sense of play can open up possibilities in pastoral care.

If you are looking for something new to try this year, I invite you to consider play and how it can become a bigger part of your life and ministry. Perhaps you will preach a sermon looking for the humor to be found in the lectionary that week. Or maybe you will bring a touch of play to a pastoral conversation, using curiosity as your primary mode. However it looks for you, take a deep breath, relax, and allow yourself to be open to the present moment and the healing power of possibility.