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One of the most frequent inquiries that I see in clergy groups is variations on “Anyone have a book recommendation for someone grieving?” I’ve compiled a list of 12 books–six for adults and six for children or families–that might serve as a support and a guide for those experiencing loss. Again, I have not read all of the books recommended, because I don’t think this list should be limited to just my perspective. I sought the input of dozens of clergy women, and I hope that at least one of these books may be a balm to those whom we are called to walk with and care for during the unthinkable.

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Let me tell you a story about a group of people who have a history of getting into  good trouble, to borrow the words of John Lewis. Now some might think these individuals are united as a group by their ethnic or linguistic heritage, the hymns they like the most, or their affinity for casseroles or hot dish. But those are all just surface level things. What they really have in common is being troublemakers to the core. 

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While I was drowning in grief, I wondered aloud to a friend what kind of pastor and activist I could have been if I weren’t in so much pain. She wondered what the Church would be like if more leaders were vulnerable and told the truth about their struggles. Theologian and liturgist Cole Arthur Riley proclaims, “If we have any interest in representing a liberating spirituality, we must adopt a spiritual psyche whose deepest concern is not enlightenment or education but doing our best at telling the truth” (This Here Flesh, 187). Her books This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories that Make Us and Black Liturgies: Prayers, Poems, and Meditations for Staying Human are books that tell the truth. They imagine not a Church, but a spirituality that awakens freedom in community through the sharing of our stories and telling the truth about our bodies. 

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