Twelve Books on Grief for Both Children and Adults

Post Author: Pastor Courtney R. Young

One of the most frequent inquiries that I see in clergy groups is variations on “Anyone have a book recommendation for someone grieving?” I’ve compiled a list of 12 books–six for adults and six for children or families–that might serve as a support and a guide for those experiencing loss. Again, I have not read all of the books recommended, because I don’t think this list should be limited to just my perspective. I sought the input of dozens of clergy women, and I hope that at least one of these books may be a balm to those whom we are called to walk with and care for during the unthinkable.

Six Books on Grief for Adults

1. How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland
   Especially going through hard times, I think it is important to seek out both concrete information and emotional insight. This book definitely falls in the concrete information camp. Nuland maps out the seven most common roads to death: old age, cancer, AIDS, Alzheimer’s, accidents, heart disease, and strokes.
2. It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine
   Devine is a therapist and an individual who has experienced significant loss. In her book, she names and challenges myths around grief and provides practical resources for people who are grieving and their loved ones.
3. The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief by Jan Richardson
   I like that this book can serve as a devotional for someone who is grieving and that their pain can be normalized with beautiful, empathetic poetry.
4. Grieving While Black: An Antiracist Take on Oppression and Sorrow by Breeshia Wade
   Wade approaches grief as a persistent, communal experience that deserves our attention so that we can experience wholeness as individuals and within our communities.
5. You choose: A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis or The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
   Both of these acclaimed books were written to help the authors process the deaths of their spouses and both capture the intense disorientation of substantial loss.
6. Falling Upwards: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr
   This book isn’t about grief or loss per se, but addresses what Rohr calls “necessary suffering”, the unavoidable suffering that we all experience while living. It provides guidance about how to move through necessary suffering into giftedness that can enrich our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

Six Books on Grief for Children and Families

1. Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
   Again, I’m starting the list with a book on the more concrete information side of things. This book helps children understand that death is natural and different creatures live for different lengths of time.
2. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages by Leo Buscaglia
   Another book to help children understand that death is a natural, normal part of life by following the life cycle of a leaf through the four seasons.
3. Dear Star Baby by Malcolm Newsome and illustrated by Kamala Nair
   A good option for a family that has experienced some kind of infant loss. It shows a family grieving after experiencing a tragedy and how they take care of each other. I like it because it is a general story that could address many families’ unique situations.
4. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
   This book is one of the hallmarks for children’s books that addresses grief, loss, or even anxiety. It starts off with a mother telling her children that they are connected by an invisible string. If you like The Invisible String, there are additional Invisible String books and an Invisible String workbook for families. 
5. God’s Holy Breath: An African Story for Children about Life and Death by Olin Sletto and illustrated by Ann Rezny
   This book offers another way to talk about life and death: when a person is born they receive God’s Holy Breath and when they die, the breath returns to God.
6. The Heaven of Animals by Nancy Tillman
   Since the first significant loss that many children face is often the death of a pet, I thought this would be a good book to round out my list. I love Nancy Tillman books and the illustrations are enchanting.

If you have a book that you love and has helped you with your grief that isn’t on this list, please share it in the comments below!