Let the Little Children Come

Post Author: The Rev. Amanda M. Rohrs

My twin daughters were about two years old when my church, along with two others, began holding weekly evening services of dinner church. Most of the time the girls were perfectly at ease, sometimes helping to set the tables for dinner but often playing quietly in a corner, a corner I’m sure we are all familiar with in churches: the children’s corner. While there is something to be said about having a space that is intentionally made with little ones in mind, all too often these spaces relegate them away from the rest of the worshiping body, apart from the community. Some weeks were easier than others to get the girls to leave the toys and small kitchen in order to join the adults as we formed a circle to celebrate the Eucharist. Over time, as the novelty wore off, it became more difficult to engage them in the work of worship. There were some weeks that I wondered why I had even brought them in the first place; other weeks I considered leaving them at home altogether. If I felt this way as a pastor, I can only imagine how the caregivers of young children sitting in our pews or around fellowship tables must feel!

When I’m not doing the traditional work of a pastor, I teach music classes for families and in preschools through the umbrella organization Music Together. Created and founded by musicians and early childhood music educators, the Music Together program engages infants, toddlers, and their caregivers in music-making, modeling for grown-ups how to incorporate music into daily life, nurturing the development of the little ones’ musicality. Emphasis is placed on process, not performance; if you were to sit and observe a session you may think that the little one is doing nothing at all. Children are given the freedom to be children. If they want to sing along, they sing. If they want to put the rhythm stick in their mouth instead of tapping them together, that’s what cleaning wipes are for afterwards. If they want – or need – to walk or wiggle, they do. Despite what may look like a lack of engagement from a grown-up’s perspective, an amazing thing is happening. They hear the music, feel the rhythm, and see the joy on their grown-up’s face as they make music. When a child sees the special grown-up in their life enjoying something, they will often want to join in and share that enjoyment.

It may seem like a waste of time and energy to introduce infants and toddlers to these experiences, especially when they are not actively engaged. Besides, they won’t even remember it, right? This is where we would be wrong. Early childhood development experts have found that the first three years of a child’s life are critical for their development in every area of life. From birth through the age of three the brain is creating and mapping millions of neural pathways from what the child experiences in daily life. Everything from language, emotional expression, movement, and yes, music, is nurtured or neglected by the child’s environment and interactions with others. This is remarkable – we might even say miraculous! However, something very interesting begins to happen around the age of three. The brain begins to snip away all the pathways that were not used or nurtured in a process called synaptic pruning. Once they’ve been snipped, those connections are gone. Does this mean that if a child has minimal to no musical exposure between the ages of 0-3 they will never grow to appreciate or make music? No, but it will be more difficult. If this is true for a child’s musical growth, imagine how it might prove true when it comes to children’s spiritual growth as well. If children are wired to learn by way of interaction, imitation, and experimentation or exploration, are we really helping to nurture their spiritual formation by sending them away from the worshiping body to the nursery, children’s corner, or Sunday school?

Back to dinner church: my patience, or lack thereof, reached the point where I stopped making them join us and participate. If they were playing happily and quietly, I was happy. One evening the grown-ups gathered in our usual circle and I began the liturgy for the Great Thanksgiving. As I said the ancient words, words we had spoken or sung week after week for the past few months, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that one of my daughter’s ears perked up. I continued with the liturgy, closing my eyes. Suddenly, I felt a light pressure against my leg. I snuck a quick peek and saw, to my surprise, that both of my daughters had joined the circle of worshipers. When they heard the words, they knew what to do. As we shared the bread and cup, the words of Jesus echoed in my head and heart: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14, NRSV).