A Liturgy for Moving Out

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Post Author: Rev. Ashley Updegraff

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When it was time to move out of the first home that I could truly call “mine,” it was with a complicated mixture of emotions. My most striking moments of joy and my deepest moments of pain were stacked side by side in cardboard boxes. The baggage involved in this move was not insignificant–pun intended. 

I had bought this home with my husband. We had put so much love and sweat equity into it, making it a delightful place to live. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in this home, eagerly anticipating how she would grow into it alongside us. And then, in my seventh month of pregnancy, my husband left. We got a divorce. We welcomed our infant, but it wasn’t at all as I expected. Seemingly overnight, this home that I purchased with a husband and planned to occupy with my family became all mine. Only mine. Mine, and my daughter’s. The pride I felt at being able to keep my home, affording the mortgage and maintaining it, was immeasurable. So was the loneliness. The despair. It was all mixed up in this one home. My tears had fallen on the very same floors my daughter took her first steps on. The anguish of my cries ricocheted off the same walls the deep laughter of my healing did. 

When I met my now-husband, and it was time to sell my house so we could purchase our own house, I was excited and sad, eager and reluctant. I wrote this liturgy to address all those feelings. To embrace the good and the bad that occurred in that home. To acknowledge the love and the hurt. To mark the moment as sacred. I hope you can use it for yourself or for someone you know to honor the messy mix of experience and feeling that is being human at a time of transition and change. 

A Liturgy for Moving Out

Preparation: For this liturgy, you will want to gather some close friends or family members. You’ll be moving about the house and stopping at certain locations. In each space, the person/persons moving will be invited to share the good and not-so-good memories that occurred in that room. Others will be invited to chime in too, sharing memories collected over the years. A brief scripture will be read, and a prayer will be said. After the prayer, the gathered group will collectively say, “Goodbye, Room!” and toast that room.

Assign someone to be the “leader,” preferably one of the guests. Feel free to print off the various scripture passages, and pass them out so the people gathered can all help lead the ritual. The original blessing calls for a champagne toast in each room; feel free to substitute sparkling cider or some other festive beverage. 

 

Greeting/Gathering: At the front door 

Leader: On (insert date you purchased or moved in), you bought this house and walked through this door. You had hopes and dreams for your life and all that would happen here. Over the years, this home has, indeed, seen many hopes and dreams come to fruition. But it has also seen sadness, uncertainty, and anxiety. It has held laughter and tears, sorrow and joy. Above all, it has held love–lots of love from so many people. Because God is good, this ending is also the start of a new beginning. Today we honor and recognize the moments of beauty and moments of grief this home has borne witness to, and we say goodbye to this house in anticipation of the incredible things God will do in your next chapter.

 A reading from Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    from where will my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.

He who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.

The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time on and forevermore.

 

Living Room

         Share Memories

         A reading from Ecclesiastes 8:15

So I commend enjoyment, for there is nothing better for people under the sun than to eat and drink and enjoy themselves, for this will go with them in their toil through the days of life that God gives them under the sun.

Prayer        

God, thank you for the life that was lived in this room: the moments of relaxation, the late night conversations, the books read, the holidays celebrated, the gathering of friends and family. May the experiences here be planted deeply in our memories, and may those memories provide the path forward for all the life yet to be lived. Amen.

         Say: “Good Bye, Room!” Then, clink glasses and toast!

 

Guest Room

         Share Memories

         A reading from Romans 15:7

Welcome one another, therefore, just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

         Prayer

God, you have surrounded (name the residents) with so many people who love them. We thank you for the hospitality that you show us, welcoming us into your family, and we thank you for the guests who have visited this home over the years. May those relationships continue to deepen over time, and may your gracious welcome abound. Amen. 

         Say: “Good Bye, Room!” Then, clink glasses and toast!

 

A Child’s Bedroom (You can choose which one, or do them all! If there are no children in the home, skip this and go to the next room.)

Share Memories

         A reading from Mark 10:13-16

People were bringing children to him in order that he might touch them, and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not stop them, for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

         Prayer

God, we give you thanks for (names of children). Thank you for the way you love them, claim them as your own, watch over them, and allow us to be witnesses to their unfolding lives. No matter where they live or where they are, may they know that you are with them and that they belong to you. Amen. 

         Say “Good Bye, Room!” Then, clink glasses and toast!

 

Kitchen

Share Memories

         A reading from John 6:32-35

Then Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

         Prayer

God, for all the ways you have provided, we thank you. For the food you have kept in pantries, for the water straight from the tap: thank you. For the ways family and friends have congregated in this space, sharing stories and laughter, consolation and support: thank you. Help us to be aware of those whose pantries are empty and those who have no access to clean water. May we provide for them as you provide for us. Amen

         Say “Good Bye, Room!” Then, clink glasses and toast!

 

Closing/Leaving: At the side or back door, if possible. Otherwise, gather back at the front door. 

Leader: After (insert amount of time lived in home) making this house a home, you are leaving it. You say goodbye to the memories, good and bad, and you step into a new future. God is doing a new thing. But God’s old and steadfast promises go with you—the promise to protect and provide, the promise to be present in joy and sorrow, the promise to make a home with you, wherever you are.

A reading from Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    from where will my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.

He who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.

The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time on and forevermore.

 Prayer

God, wherever we are, we are at home in you. Help (name of residents) to know this always. Bless this time of transition, and as they get settled in their new home, be present with them. Breathe new life and new memories into their new space. May they feel you with them, and may your Spirit guide them always. Amen.

Blessing: May you go from this home with peace. What has happened here has happened, there is no altering it or changing it. Embrace what you can, and let go of what you can’t. Enter your new home and your new chapter with the same peace, trusting that the God of peace goes with you. 

         Say “Good Bye, House!” Then, clink glasses and toast one final time!

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Image by: Ashley Updegraff
Used with permission