“I don’t know how you do it!” they often say with exasperation and awe in their voice. Admiring onlookers into the mom life watch their pastor – their spiritual leader – change diapers, juggle food and feelings of little ones and teenagers alike, all while preparing for Bible study, lending a presence to the sick and suffering, and making ardent points in the finance meetings of the church. “Not all heroes wear capes!” she says with a chuckle and moves on to the next item demanding her thoughtful attention and spiritual readiness.
While it is often meant in beneficence and jest as a word of validation and cheerleading, what if we were to pause and wonder at this question with something more than platitudes. How does the pastor mom do it?
For the fourth day in a row, I was leaving the church building after dark. As my three children and I made our way to the back parking lot after a long day of Bible, Music, and Art Camp, I was feeling guilty. Guilty that we were out past my toddler’s bedtime. Guilty that my kids had eaten pretzels and leftover corndogs from the church refrigerator for supper. Guilty that it had taken me all evening to set up for the next day because I hadn’t lined up any volunteers to help. Guilt weighed me down more than the sleeping three-year-old in my arms. As we trudged across the asphalt toward the car, I was dreading the hour-long commute home and kicking myself for making my kids pay—yet again–for being preacher’s kids.
