Posts

Seeing God in Sequins, Eyeshadow, and Ice Cream

Being a minister in a small town is complicated. Being the local tattooed, lesbian, single mama pastor – one whom you might see out in a low-cut leopard print dress, and from whom you might hear a few curse words now and then – in a small town is . . . complicated. I’m a […]

“Find Yourself a Group of Friends…”

Find yourself a group of friends…   …who will remind you to take care of yourself. Just last night I went to set my home alarm before going to bed, like I always do. It was late, and the alarm wouldn’t set. It kept notifying me that the basement exterior door was open. There was […]

My Friend, the Mortician

I met Rob Pecht, owner of Bordentown Home for Funerals, in a hearse. At least that’s how I remember it. Our first conversation on a long drive to a cemetery centered around my being relatively new to the area and our mutual love of the HBO show Six Feet Under. I vaguely remembering asking him, […]

Gathering a Tribe

It didn’t start out as an intentional project.  I didn’t sit down one day and say, “I need a tribe”, and then set out to collect various individuals to gather around me as I moved through life.  It just sort of happened.  I read the book, Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation by Carol Howard Merritt, and saw myself […]

Pastor and Possible Friend: A Perspective of a Clergyperson and Clergy Spouse

The new president of Princeton Seminary wrote an article last December, titled “Pastor, not friend.”  In that article, he reflects on his relationship with a devoted elder of the parish who was shocked—and saddened—when Craig Barnes announced his leaving the parish.  He said “friends don’t treat each other like that.”  Craig responds, “He was right, […]

Finding Church

“It’s just too hard. I don’t know what to do,” my stepmother confessed. There was silence on our phone connection, which granted me enough time to put on my pastor hat, even if I was reluctant to adorn this accessory with my family members. It didn’t matter though. I was going to wear the hat […]

Love Thy Neighbor

My seminary boyfriend broke up with me just a few days before I was supposed to go house-hunting. It was my senior year, and I had just accepted an exciting new call as an assistant rector. A girlfriend of mine named Mary peeled me off the floor of my dorm room and insisted on driving […]